A well known letter from a grandfather to his granddaughter where he is depicting how the society works for a women.
“You both carry a very valuable legacy on your tender shoulders -Aradhya the legacy of your pardadaji , Dr Harivansh Rai Bachchan and Navya, the legacy of your pardadaji , Shri H P Nanda’.
Both your pardadaji ‘ s gave your present surnames celebrated fame, dignity and recognition ! Both of you may be a Nanda or a Bachhan, but you are also girls’women !
And because you are women people will force their thinking, their boundaries on you.They will tell you how to dress, how to behave, who you can meet and where you can go.
Don’t live in the shadows of people’s judgement. Make your own choices in the light of your own wisdom.Don’t let anyone make you believe that the length of your skirt is a measure of your character. Don’t let anyone’s opinion of who you should be friends with, dictate who you will be friends with. Don’t get married for any other reason other than you want to get married.
People will talk. They shall say some terrible things. But that doesn’t mean you have to listen to everyone. Never ever worry about ‘log kya kahenge’. At the end of the day, you are the only one who will face the consequences of your actions, so don’t let other people make your decisions for you.
‘Navya’ the privilege your name, your surname offers you, will not protect you from the difficulties you will face because you ‘re a woman.
‘Aaradhya ‘ by the time you see and understand this, I may well not be around. But I think what I am saying today shall still be relevant.
This may be a difficult, difficult world to be a woman. But I believe that it is women like you that will change that. It may not be easy, setting your own boundaries, making your own choices, rising above people ‘s judgement. But YOU !…you can set an example for women everywhere.
Do this and you would have done more than I have ever done, and it will be my honor to be known not as Amitabh Bachchan, but as your grandfather !!
With all my love
Your dadaji,your Nana”
From this whole letter I don’t think I need to again tell what India is or what type of mentality people of this nation have for women. There will be rules, restrictions, boundations for everything you do but mostly these level of restriction changes from person to person. If I specially say, you can use the term gender wise. If you are a boy, your limitations are endless but unfortunately if you are a girl, all limits are made for you only. Whatever you do, wherever you go, however you dress, everything. Each of it had its own limitations. If not your parents,then your other family members for sure will restrict you from doing things which you think is perfectly fine but a crime in their eyes.
If I start with few examples,it will be easy for each one of you to understand what boundations I am talking about.
Firstly, since you are a girl you are not allowed to stay out of your home till late night. How can you stay out!! You are a girl,some sort of rape or molestation may take place. So, as we say, prevention is always better than cure. But in order to protect your girl,they always forget this thing that rather to restrict your girl from staying out late night and taking away her freedom,why don’t they take some sort of strict step to stop those criminals who are doing all these rubbish stuffs. Why don’t they teach their boys how to treat a girl and some sort of respect. Why don’t they teach their girl child self defense!! I know, they have no answers to all of it.
Next we can talk about the clothes. We judge a girl by her clothes also. There is a common thinking, a girl always wearing a ‘salwar’ or ‘kurti’ is a so called “BEHENJI”. And a girl wearing party wear clothes or short cut-out clothes is nothing but “SLUT”. And if any girl wearing such cut-out clothes get molested,then they will say it’s her fault only since she provoked the person by her clothes to molest her. Isn’t it a great joke??? Yaah, it is a great joke. There won’t be any situation when you are not being judged.
By our so-called INDIAN culture, saree is an honorable costume for a woman. But they forget this,while wearing a saree there is a 4-5 inch gap which outshow the stomach of the woman. At the same place, since jeans and top or t-shirts are from Western clothes,so it’s not a proper dress code to wear. And may i know, is there any guarantee that a woman wearing saree can’t be rapped and a woman wearing a western outfit only get rapped?? I don’t know,why they always forget that the molester is not a person who will sit and decide whom to molest and whom not to. It’s just his evil mindset that make him do it and your outfit is not an issue to think of.
Third thing is the preferences your family have,the way your family treats you it’s not that same if you have a younger or elder brother with you. Even though they may show they treat you equally,but at some point of time, at some situation, they will take their decision in accordance with their son only. And this thing is nothing new or old,it is something which is preset in their mind that their son is their ultimate asset. And the girl is nothing but a liability. There will be always a difference in their amount of love, support,care, material things, or gifts. The differences they make among the girl and boy can be small but there will be some difference for sure. I will give you a small example, just think you have a small brother or elder brother and you both love same food item. Who do you think will be served the food!! Or let me ask you one more thing, you and your brother both stays outside home for job or studies anything. Who will be given more importance when you both will return home?? I don’t have to answer, you people knows it better.
If your family can’t be your backbone then it’s a big disadvantage for you. Since, after your failure in life you will think at least for 3 times before letting them know about it as you too don’t know how they will react. Sometimes just because you are a girl many opportunities are taken away from you and given to your brother.
Fourth thing and the worst part of all is when society judge you by the amount of your male friends. If you are a girl and you are having many male friends then your character is something questionable. You can’t be a pure girl, some sort of problem must be there with you. But at the same instant,if a boy is having a good number of female friends,then he must be helpful enough and that’s why girls like him so much. Must be a very generous type of a person. Am I right or wrong?? Obviously I m right. That’s how things work in our society.
Next, If a girl is smoking or drinking alcohol,is it cool?? And same way if a boy is smoking and drinking is it cool??
For me, both of it is uncool. But the reality is if a boy is doing it, it’s cool to some extent,no problem with it. He is just doing it occasionally and just for fun only. But a girl can never ever do it even in her worst dream also. There are some restriction level for girls and they can’t cross it. It’s against the law of our so-called society. But they forget this thing that both boys and girls are human only and the only difference is in the mentality of our society people,nothing else.
Child marriage, domestic violence and burning the bride for dowry are the most commonly found problems faced by women in our society. It’s not just the thinking of groom’s family but of her own family too who treats her as a liability. Just to get rid of these liability only, sometimes they get their girl child married at a tinder age itself and without getting proper information regarding the groom and his family. Getting pregnant at a small age and abortions, if a girl child is there in the womb are the realities that bring goosebumps over our body. But yes, there are still many women who tolerates these things and live this tortures daily but still having their life. I just salute these women for their such high level of tolerance and courage to live their life. Because there are many who accepted the path of suicide in place of having such a life but rest of them are still fighting for their existence in the society.
Hence, at last but not the least it’s just a request to each one of you, you are a boy or a girl, I don’t care but please have respect for every girl and never let them be pity over their condition. Treat them equally since nowadays nothing matters, girls are also moving forward step by step and keeping the boys far behind them. Change your mentality and have a broad and clear mind.
“NO MATTER HOW EDUCATED, TALENTED, RICH OR COOL YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE, HOW YOU TREAT OTHERS ULTIMATELY TELLS ALL”
So treat every women respectfully and earn respect for yourself too.
And please all these are my own point of view and I am writing some sort of general thing and there can be exceptions too. But I am trying to express through my blog is to give respect to that soul because of which you are capable of seeing the world.