Arranged Marriage or Love Marriage!! What will you prefer? Ok, let’s talk about marriage first.
“There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” – Martin Luther
Marriage is the beginning of new responsibility as a new and interesting life partner joining you to share the joys and responsibility. It gives you a companion and teaches you to be selfless. Marriage is a bond which stays with you till the day you die.
Now, here we talk about marrying the person you already fell in love with before marriage or the person whom you don’t know properly before marriage, the one who is being chosen by your parents. I believe there are two sides of a coin. Both arranged marriage or love marriage have their pros and cons.
You meet a person, know him/her and starts falling for that person. You know all details, all likes, and dislikes, habits and addictions. No post marriage surprise will be waiting for you. You will be choosing your partner by your own, no parental pressure or emotions. The decision will be taken by you about the relationship and it will be your fault or pleasure if something happens, no one to blame. Parents may support or may not.
You meet a brand new person just a few days before your marriage, at max a month or two before. Then you need to decide within 1-2 meets of yours that you are ready for the marriage or not! You know just few handful of things about the person and the rest will be a post marriage surprise. The decision of your marriage will be on your parent’s consent. And if something happens after marriage, the blame will be equally distributed.
Now comes the pros and cons of arranged marriage or love marriage:
Pros and Cons of Arranged Marriage or Love Marriage:
“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.” –Tom Mullen.
Love is a dream and marriage is just an extension of this dream to reality. When both dream and reality come together, it is the best thing that can happen to a person. So, as I said like a coin has it’s two sides, similarly love marriage too has it’s pros and cons. Let’s start with advantages:
The best thing about it is that you marry the person whom you love and with whom you want to get married. You don’t marry for- caste, money, looks, horoscope, society or any ridiculous reason. You marry for sake of yourself. As a couple, you are aware of your differences as well as your strengths, which makes it easier to strengthen the bond of love after marriage.
Here, I know the person- his habits, his behavior, his likes/dislikes- so there will be no shocks/surprises for me later on. No need to build trust, it’s already built there. The journey becomes easy as you have spent a good amount of time together and are tolerant towards each other in all moods. But all these understanding and compatibility has it’s negative effect too. It increases EXPECTATIONS. Since, they know each other so well, when one of them fails to stand on the other’s expectation, the situation leads to arguments and tiffs. Lack of family support. If the relationship ends to divorce, the whole society will start blaming for getting married in love.
In the Western world, arranged marriage seems an impractical thing, but in India is a common practice. Arranged marriage is somewhat the marriage between two families rather two individuals. By statistics, it is more stable than love marriage, since the complete ceremony is done under the parent’s consent. Family support will be always there for you. There will be a curiosity to know the person more after marriage, which adds spices to the relation.
On the other way, it can be seen as a promoter of racism. And the foremost drawback about arranged marriage is, you marry the person whom you don’t even know properly. You know only that much, the much he or his family members told you. Since, in today’s world, people are too good in wearing the mask of fakeness, it becomes tough to trust someone. Suppose after getting married you get to some of the bad habits of him or any evil past of him, then what? Next is dowry. It’s just in arranged marriages where dowries are being taken in the name of the gift, you can read by blog on Dowry, the Social Evil.
Now, it’s your responsibility to understand what you are comfortable with Arranged Marriage or Love Marriage! Will you be able to cope up with the situation after marriage or will you be ready for post marriage surprises? Or you want to be with a person you already knows and with whom you have a better compatibility. The decision should be completely yours in either case. Marry the person whom you love but only when you are sure, ‘He is the one for me’, don’t trust in a week or a month’s relation with the person. And it’s same for arranged marriage too, marry only when you are 100% sure of him. Know him well, spend some time and then decide. Don’t let others decide the destiny of your life. No relation can be perfect, but if you will try it can be successful at least.
“Life is your, the decision should also be your”
If you need any help, you can contact me directly too.